Ugh, Miss Teen USA
Sunday, August 27, 2000 | 01:02 a.m.
I'm a sick fuck for watching this shit (incidentally, why the hell is on at 1:00 a.m. on a Saturday?). The commentary is hilarious. "What do you think of Miss Missouri?" "Well, I think she looks great with her hair down. She had it up before, but she looks like a real teen with it down." "Yes, that's true." Jesus Christ.

I guess they've tried to retool the pageant to pick up that all-important teen girl demographic, since right now that godawful 98 Degrees are caterwauling and the judges include that mini-Me media whore and Fez from That 70's Show. Still pretty B-list. Sad.

I love Stay Free
Sunday, August 27, 2000 | 12:56 a.m.
It's like a feminist Adbusters, a "nonprofit magazine examining commercialism and American culture." It's got really well-written and intelligent articles on all manner of things from how to read billboards to "When you break up with someone, what do you do with their stuff?". Speaking of someone who recently got dumped by someone I was in love with, all I'm stuck with is a bottle of saline solution and a candle made out of a 40 of Budweiser. Oh, the humanity.

Alice magazine!
Sunday, August 27, 2000 | 12:44 a.m.
This magazine is actually pretty cool, and it's not just because they include me in their Alice Walk of Fame (although I'm almost 24, not 21, thank God).

The best celebrity gossip ever
Sunday, August 27, 2000 | 12:40 a.m.
Don't even bother visiting this site unless you have an hour to kill.

I love to make fun of eBay stuff
Sunday, August 27, 2000 | 12:33 a.m.
Oooh, is this ugly. Searching for "hideous" or "disgusting" on eBay usually produces excellent results. Speaking of which, check out the eBay Conceptual Art Gallery which showcases painstakingly lovely photographs of eBay merchandise. Justinspace has lots of really hilarious exhibits, my favorite being Obscene Interiors, which critiques home decor found in amateur porn.